separated by ocean

For those of you who don’t know, my boyfriend of a year and a half just moved out to Ireland to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor. Being separated by 3212 miles is not the most ideal situation for the two of us. However, I’m so unbelievably proud of all his hard work to get to where he is today and I stand by him 100%.

With that being said, it doesn’t mean this hasn’t been a bit of a roller coaster ride. Leading up to his last days in Canada, I was handling it all very well. Being supportive and positive. But then we had a going away party for him, and it was all downhill from there. I was an emotional mess. How was I going to survive without my best friend?! There would be moments before he left, where we would be hanging out together – I would look at him and just start crying. I kept thinking about all of his little quirks and the memories we shared. There was no doubt in my mind that our relationship wouldn’t work, but I was faced with the reality that it was going to be tough at times. Luckily for me, I have an extremely compassionate guy who reassured me things would be okay.

For those of you out there who are going through a similar long distance love, just remind yourself that distance means nothing when the person at the other end means so much. I understand it may be hard at times, but there are so many different things you can do to keep the relationship alive. Justin and I really try our best to keep our relationship thriving. Here are some ideas that we’ve done so far:

1. Text/Video Chat. We talk everyday, even if it’s not for long. Fortunately, we have grown up in a time where technology is so easily accessible. It’s nice to feel connected to one another while you’re apart. So whenever time permits, we update each other with what’s going on in our lives.

2. Writing. Seeing as I’m also a bit old fashioned, I think it’s important to write each other every now and then. Whether it’s a postcard or a letter. Everyone loves getting mail and it makes it that much more romantic when it’s from the person you love and miss.

3. Date Nights. I know, this sounds silly. How are you supposed to have a date night when your significant other is on a totally different continent? Well, it’s possible! What we do is, we decide on a movie to watch together. Get a few snacks before hand, then video chat each other and start the movie at the exact same time. It feels like you’re side by side, laughing or crying together. I highly recommend this.

4. Trust and Open Communication. Two of the most important qualities to ANY relationship really. It’s very different being so far away from one another. That’s why trust and open communication is so key. Be honest with each other. If something is upsetting you, talk about it and come to a solution together. But, trust in the love that you share and know that it is okay to be apart and have “me” time. As long as you’re being respectful to your partner.

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I’m confident that it will get easier. And, we’ll be a stronger couple because of it all. I’m only about a month into this, so I’m sure there are other strategies to learn in the months and years to come. We really do appreciate all the love and support that we’ve received from family and friends. It’s nice to have a good support system standing behind you!

the good, the bad, the ugly

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty stand up, honest person. If I’m feeling a certain way because of something someone did, I’m going to let them know. I don’t think I have always been this way necessarily, but as I’ve grown up I’ve come to realize that things won’t change until you let people know what you want changed.

When it comes to relationships with others, I strongly believe that you should be open and honest about anything. Whether it’s telling your friend that the shirt she is wearing isn’t the most flattering, telling your significant other how something they did made you feel (good or bad), or talking about an issue that arose based on someone else’s actions (or lack there of). I’m not saying that being rude or blunt is the solution. I just think, that if you are truly upset because of something that happened, you need to determine what that relationship means to you. If it’s an insignificant bond that you don’t overly care about, then it’s probably just best to leave the issue and focus on other relationships in your life that make you happy. However, if it’s someone you deeply care for, then an expression of how you feel needs to be shared, regardless of how difficult it is. That’s the only way you can hope for a positive change with him or her.

I know what you’re thinking…easier said than done! Everyone knows that the truth isn’t usually what a person wants to hear. Reality check: It’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies! Many of us dread telling people how we really feel. But the way I look at it is, if the person you are addressing is a true friend or a dedicated partner they are going to respect you. Yes, they may feel a little attacked at first (I think it’s only natural). But, once they’ve had time to decompress and think about it, they’re going to listen to you and try to solve the issue together because they care for you just as much as you care for them.

If they don’t do any of the things above, well then…maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and reflect. Is that the type of person you want in your life? Do they value the relationship as much as you do? Do they care how you feel? Will they stick around through the good, the bad, the ugly?

It’s difficult to face the reality of these questions because we don’t want to accept the truth behind them (probably ’cause we know the truth ain’t rainbows or butterflies!) But maybe this truth will set us free. Maybe knowing the answers will allow us to make a tough, but necessary decision about the status of the relationship. You get to decide.

I know for me personally, I’d rather have a few truthful relationships, than many disloyal relationships. What about you?

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cry me a river

Yes, break ups suck. Whether it’s someone you’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship with or someone you’ve dated casually for only a couple months, they’re never an easy thing to deal with. No one likes being hurt (I mean, unless you’re into that kind of thing….). So yeah, break ups tend to make us all a little uneasy.

With this being said, I think how you handle a break up says A LOT about your character. Based on my own experiences and those that I’ve heard of from friends and/or family, I believe that there are two types of “break up personalities.”

1. There are the people who are naturally very upset and hurt over the break up, but handle the situation maturely and try to move on (without slandering their ex’s name),

AND THEN…

2. There are the people who obnoxiously stroke their own ego by rudely and aggressively shit-talking their ex (AKA. the ‘bitter breakup betty’s!’)

If you’re a “number two” break up person (no pun-intended), then I strongly suggest you reevaluate your life choices. It’s one thing to be hurt and not agree with how things were handled in the relationship. But it’s another to speak ill words about intimate relations you had with that person (someone you cared about at one time). Hate to break it to you friend, but you are NO where near being perfect, which is probably the reason why your ex didn’t want to stay with you in the first place. So instead of being immature and bitter, try being a big boy/girl and take the break up graciously. Because, at no point in time, is it EVER appropriate to be judging your ex or slandering his/her name to others. Figure it out.

So what do you do if you have a “number two” ex (LOL) on your hands? I understand sometimes it’s hard to hold your composure and usually your initial instinct is to rip their head off. BUT, before you make any sort of rash decisions, take a step back, think about the situation. Do you look like a total crazy? Nope. Do they they look like a total crazy? Yup! 100% without a doubt, they look like a bat-shit crazy person who time-traveled back to high school.

So essentially, you win. Don’t stoop to their level. Be cool. And remember, you’re not with them anymore (Thank God for that!)

the greatest revenge

Throughout our lives, it’s common to lose people who were once extremely important or close to us. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a best friend (or maybe someone you wanted out of your life for good) – the initial reaction is to be nasty! I think being mean is just a coping mechanism for some people to make everything easier. It helps us develop a sense of anger. And when you’re angry, it makes it easier for us to not miss that person. Sometimes you’d even go as far as to hurt them personally.

While being mean and hurtful are EASY (and maybe even enjoyable for some!) it’s only bringing yourself down. You’re still consuming yourself with that person. You’re keeping your emotions wrapped tightly around someone who you don’t really want or need in your life to begin with.

Instead of getting mad or being mean or trying to get even. Try being an adult. Remind yourself that you’re better than that. And, of course, find an even better form of revenge!!

So whats the best, sweetest, most gratifying revenge of all?!

Self-reformation / Self-improvement.

If you’re smarter, funnier, healthier, hotter and more confident than you were when you were friends with or dating that person, then you’re the ultimate winner! Improving your own quality of life is far better than bashing theirs.

So before you try and tear down someone else who was once really significant in your life. Take a step back for a minute. Think about how you can better yourself, rather than saying hateful things about them. No one likes a loser, and we all strive to be winners. So, take your pick.

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melt when you smile, dissolve when you laugh


Where do I even begin. I remember watching this video for the first time back in college – when I was just a simple 18 year old girl, who had a lot of growing up to do. A time where I also had no idea what the concept of ‘love’ really entailed. I think it’s still a learning process for me, as I’m sure it is for everyone else in this world. But now, watching this video back as a 24 year old woman, there’s a lot I’ve come to realize.

First… In a relationship, you make sacrifices and compromises for the one you care about (I’m not just talking about romantic relationships here, but also friend and family relationships). It’s so easy for people to just give up and not solve problems that they are encountered with in life. I’ve lost a fair amount of friends and boyfriends for similar reasons to this. At first it’s devastating and it hurts, a lot. Because after all, aren’t they the ones you thought cared for you the most? It’s a difficult situation to handle. But when this happens, I think it’s just proof (a sign, if you will) that this person didn’t belong in your life to begin with. They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe them choosing to leave your side is evidence that they were never really meant to be by your side in the first place. The ever so beautiful Marilyn Monroe once said, that “sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Second… I strongly believe in fighting for what you love. If you care for something or someone, you’re going to do everything in your power to hang onto that. No ifs, ands or buts. If someone isn’t willing to give and take a little then it just confirms that they aren’t willing to care to their fullest potential for you, which may mean it’s time to move on. This is really scary for people to comprehend sometimes (myself included).

This leads into the third (and most important) thing…don’t lose hope. There’s nothing more fragile and uncertain in life than love. One second, things can be so perfect and the next things fall apart. There are times when I lose hope and wonder if my other half even exists in this crazy place. But, I’ve come to realize how important it is to savour every moment in life. And when you have that person or thing you’ve dreamed of for so long, don’t take it for granted.

At the end of the day, we all want to experience that, “overwhelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional, all-encompassing, heart enriching, mind-expanding, ongoing, never-ending love” for someone. All it takes is a little hope and patience.

Hopefully this video helped you all have a little more faith…

version 2.0

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For those of you that follow my blog on the regular, you know that I’ve already written a piece about all the “things that really irk me” (Here is the link for those who haven’t read it: things that really irk me). Well, turns out….I didn’t exactly include EVERY thing in that post because within the last few weeks I’ve discovered a whole new set of pet peeves that irritate the crap out of me that I just need to get off my chest and share with you.

Warning: This whole blog post is going to be a huge humble jumble of bitterness from yours truly. So enjoy! (OH and sorry in advance if you do ANY of these things – for both of our sakes)

Here’s my (second) list:

1. When girls wear high heels to sporting events. Oh, I’m sorry…did I miss the memo that the Roger’s Centre has turned into a dance club and dress attire is now required? Give your head a shake women. Your boyfriend or significant other is most definitely NOT paying attention to the sexy shoes you have on your feet, but rather the huge man crush they have on Brett Lawrie or Joffrey Lupul. Go home and change into flats, girl.

2. Guys that wear white sunglasses. Hate to break it to you kid, but if you’re wearing white sunglasses you’re the ultimate douche. Pauly D is calling, he wants you to go back to Jersey Shore where you belong. (Also, the fact that there’s a whole Facebook group dedicated to the “White Douche Bag Sunglasses faux pas” is hilarious to me)

3. When people don’t introduce you to others. No big deal, I’ll just stand here listening to your 30 minute conversation with your long-lost friend that you just ran into. LIKE…HI, this is AWKWARD! I’m sorry (not really), but if you don’t make any attempt to introduce me to someone you’re talking to, then you’re just plain rude and clearly have some growing up to do.

4. When people call me Alex. Yes people, my given name is Alexandra. But don’t automatically assume that my nickname is Alex. Because, it’s not! My dad was a gem who decided he liked calling me Ali and it stuck. If you accidentally call me Alex, it’s not a huge deal (I’ll let it slide), but if you call me Alex and I correct you by saying “Oh..it’s actually Ali” that doesn’t give you the right to keep calling me Alex. I will one punch you.

5. Girls who obnoxiously display their humongous boobs. Maybe it’s a jealousy thing cause I have smaller boobs, but I really don’t think so. I don’t know if you know this girls, but your boobs go inside your shirt! (I know right? It’s a tough concept to grasp). Everyone can tell you have huge cans. You don’t need to have them pouring out of your top. 2 words: attention whores.

6. Guys that come across too aggressive and want to dirty text right away. This is my ultimate number one turn off. Yep…I have a vagina, and you have a penis, and it’s a natural thing to have (protected) sexual relations with one another. But you don’t need to ask me for dirty pictures or talk dirty to me within 5 seconds of texting. In case you didn’t know, I’m actually an intelligent girl and enjoy having meaningful conversations beyond just “Oh yeah baby, I’m so horny” …UGH GROSS! Stop!

7. Telemarketers/Spam Phone Calls. “Congratulations! This is your cruise ship captain talking. You’ve won a trip for two on our marvelous cruise ship…” LOL JK NO YOU DIDN’T. These phone calls are beyond annoying. I’m not sure what’s worse though…these automated phone calls that you can just hang up on. ORRRRR..the live person who takes a whole 3.5 seconds to respond to your initial “hello” and then immediately tries selling you something (even after you say you’re not interested and would like to be removed from their list). I can’t even imagine the rude comments that are said to these people. Sometimes I feel a little bad for them!

8. Timberland Shoes. Note: This does not apply to every single pair of timberland shoes out there, because there’s actually some stylish/nice pairs that some dudes could probably pull off. But in this particular case, I’m talking about the yellowish gangster ones. Just no! Your “timbo’s” are not attractive. Sorry bud.

9. When larger people (guys and girls) don’t dress appropriately for their body type. There is nothing wrong with being a bigger girl or guy! But… (1) if your ass is eating your shorts, (2) your dress is WAY too short and we can see all of your cellulite, or (3) your pants are too tight that love handles are forming, then something is seriously wrong. I’m not by any means a size 0 or 2. If anything I buy a size bigger so the clothing fits me appropriately and isn’t skin tight. I’m a huge advocate for dressing appropriately for your body type, which means…buying the right size, the right length and the right width of clothes!

10. Individuals who can’t do anything without their boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes…we know, you’re madly in love and want to jump up your lovers ass. But PLEASE for the sake of everyone around you…have your own space and time where you can enjoy a fun girls or guys night every now and then. And don’t even get me started on people who bail constantly on their friends to hang out with their BF/GF! Have fun being friends-less when you two break up. (#foreveralone)

So now that I’ve reached a whole new level of ‘Bitter Betty’ ..I’ll just call it quits for today. Hope all of you enjoyed my little rant on the ever-so-lovely society we live in! Feel free to add to my forever growing list of things that really irk me!

Peace out fools! xo.