cry me a river

Yes, break ups suck. Whether it’s someone you’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship with or someone you’ve dated casually for only a couple months, they’re never an easy thing to deal with. No one likes being hurt (I mean, unless you’re into that kind of thing….). So yeah, break ups tend to make us all a little uneasy.

With this being said, I think how you handle a break up says A LOT about your character. Based on my own experiences and those that I’ve heard of from friends and/or family, I believe that there are two types of “break up personalities.”

1. There are the people who are naturally very upset and hurt over the break up, but handle the situation maturely and try to move on (without slandering their ex’s name),

AND THEN…

2. There are the people who obnoxiously stroke their own ego by rudely and aggressively shit-talking their ex (AKA. the ‘bitter breakup betty’s!’)

If you’re a “number two” break up person (no pun-intended), then I strongly suggest you reevaluate your life choices. It’s one thing to be hurt and not agree with how things were handled in the relationship. But it’s another to speak ill words about intimate relations you had with that person (someone you cared about at one time). Hate to break it to you friend, but you are NO where near being perfect, which is probably the reason why your ex didn’t want to stay with you in the first place. So instead of being immature and bitter, try being a big boy/girl and take the break up graciously. Because, at no point in time, is it EVER appropriate to be judging your ex or slandering his/her name to others. Figure it out.

So what do you do if you have a “number two” ex (LOL) on your hands? I understand sometimes it’s hard to hold your composure and usually your initial instinct is to rip their head off. BUT, before you make any sort of rash decisions, take a step back, think about the situation. Do you look like a total crazy? Nope. Do they they look like a total crazy? Yup! 100% without a doubt, they look like a bat-shit crazy person who time-traveled back to high school.

So essentially, you win. Don’t stoop to their level. Be cool. And remember, you’re not with them anymore (Thank God for that!)

version 2.0

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For those of you that follow my blog on the regular, you know that I’ve already written a piece about all the “things that really irk me” (Here is the link for those who haven’t read it: things that really irk me). Well, turns out….I didn’t exactly include EVERY thing in that post because within the last few weeks I’ve discovered a whole new set of pet peeves that irritate the crap out of me that I just need to get off my chest and share with you.

Warning: This whole blog post is going to be a huge humble jumble of bitterness from yours truly. So enjoy! (OH and sorry in advance if you do ANY of these things – for both of our sakes)

Here’s my (second) list:

1. When girls wear high heels to sporting events. Oh, I’m sorry…did I miss the memo that the Roger’s Centre has turned into a dance club and dress attire is now required? Give your head a shake women. Your boyfriend or significant other is most definitely NOT paying attention to the sexy shoes you have on your feet, but rather the huge man crush they have on Brett Lawrie or Joffrey Lupul. Go home and change into flats, girl.

2. Guys that wear white sunglasses.ย Hate to break it to you kid, but if you’re wearing white sunglasses you’re the ultimate douche. Pauly D is calling, he wants you to go back to Jersey Shore where you belong. (Also, the fact that there’s a whole Facebook group dedicated to the “White Douche Bag Sunglasses faux pas” is hilarious to me)

3. When people don’t introduce you to others. No big deal, I’ll just stand here listening to your 30 minute conversation with your long-lost friend that you just ran into. LIKE…HI, this is AWKWARD! I’m sorry (not really), but if you don’t make any attempt to introduce me to someone you’re talking to, then you’re just plain rude and clearly have some growing up to do.

4. When people call me Alex. Yes people, my given name is Alexandra. But don’t automatically assume that my nickname is Alex. Because, it’s not! My dad was a gem who decided he liked calling me Ali and it stuck. If you accidentally call me Alex, it’s not a huge deal (I’ll let it slide), but if you call me Alex and I correct you by saying “Oh..it’s actually Ali” that doesn’t give you the right to keep calling me Alex. I will one punch you.

5. Girls who obnoxiously display their humongous boobs. Maybe it’s a jealousy thing cause I have smaller boobs, but I really don’t think so. I don’t know if you know this girls, but your boobs go inside your shirt! (I know right? It’s a tough concept to grasp). Everyone can tell you have huge cans. You don’t need to have them pouring out of your top. 2 words: attention whores.

6. Guys that come across too aggressive and want to dirty text right away. This is my ultimate number one turn off. Yep…I have a vagina, and you have a penis, and it’s a natural thing to have (protected) sexual relations with one another. But you don’t need to ask me for dirty pictures or talk dirty to me within 5 seconds of texting. In case you didn’t know, I’m actually an intelligent girl and enjoy having meaningful conversations beyond just “Oh yeah baby, I’m so horny” …UGH GROSS! Stop!

7. Telemarketers/Spam Phone Calls. “Congratulations! This is your cruise ship captain talking. You’ve won a trip for two on our marvelous cruise ship…” LOL JK NO YOU DIDN’T. These phone calls are beyond annoying. I’m not sure what’s worse though…these automated phone calls that you can just hang up on. ORRRRR..the live person who takes a whole 3.5 seconds to respond to your initial “hello” and then immediately tries selling you something (even after you say you’re not interested and would like to be removed from their list). I can’t even imagine the rude comments that are said to these people. Sometimes I feel a little bad for them!

8. Timberland Shoes. Note: This does not apply to every single pair of timberland shoes out there, because there’s actually some stylish/nice pairs that some dudes could probably pull off. But in this particular case, I’m talking about the yellowish gangster ones. Just no! Your “timbo’s” are not attractive. Sorry bud.

9. When larger people (guys and girls) don’t dress appropriately for their body type. There is nothing wrong with being a bigger girl or guy! But… (1) if your ass is eating your shorts, (2) your dress is WAY too short and we can see all of your cellulite, or (3) your pants are too tight that love handles are forming, then something is seriously wrong. I’m not by any means a size 0 or 2. If anything I buy a size bigger so the clothing fits me appropriately and isn’t skin tight. I’m a huge advocate for dressing appropriately for your body type, which means…buying the right size, the right length and the right width of clothes!

10. Individuals who can’t do anything without their boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes…we know, you’re madly in love and want to jump up your lovers ass. But PLEASE for the sake of everyone around you…have your own space and time where you can enjoy a fun girls or guys night every now and then. And don’t even get me started on people who bail constantly on their friends to hang out with their BF/GF! Have fun being friends-less when you two break up. (#foreveralone)

So now that I’ve reached a whole new level of ‘Bitter Betty’ ..I’ll just call it quits for today. Hope all of you enjoyed my little rant on the ever-so-lovely society we live in! Feel free to add to my forever growing list of things that really irk me!

Peace out fools! xo.