separated by ocean

For those of you who don’t know, my boyfriend of a year and a half just moved out to Ireland to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor. Being separated by 3212 miles is not the most ideal situation for the two of us. However, I’m so unbelievably proud of all his hard work to get to where he is today and I stand by him 100%.

With that being said, it doesn’t mean this hasn’t been a bit of a roller coaster ride. Leading up to his last days in Canada, I was handling it all very well. Being supportive and positive. But then we had a going away party for him, and it was all downhill from there. I was an emotional mess. How was I going to survive without my best friend?! There would be moments before he left, where we would be hanging out together – I would look at him and just start crying. I kept thinking about all of his little quirks and the memories we shared. There was no doubt in my mind that our relationship wouldn’t work, but I was faced with the reality that it was going to be tough at times. Luckily for me, I have an extremely compassionate guy who reassured me things would be okay.

For those of you out there who are going through a similar long distance love, just remind yourself that distance means nothing when the person at the other end means so much. I understand it may be hard at times, but there are so many different things you can do to keep the relationship alive. Justin and I really try our best to keep our relationship thriving. Here are some ideas that we’ve done so far:

1. Text/Video Chat. We talk everyday, even if it’s not for long. Fortunately, we have grown up in a time where technology is so easily accessible. It’s nice to feel connected to one another while you’re apart. So whenever time permits, we update each other with what’s going on in our lives.

2. Writing. Seeing as I’m also a bit old fashioned, I think it’s important to write each other every now and then. Whether it’s a postcard or a letter. Everyone loves getting mail and it makes it that much more romantic when it’s from the person you love and miss.

3. Date Nights. I know, this sounds silly. How are you supposed to have a date night when your significant other is on a totally different continent? Well, it’s possible! What we do is, we decide on a movie to watch together. Get a few snacks before hand, then video chat each other and start the movie at the exact same time. It feels like you’re side by side, laughing or crying together. I highly recommend this.

4. Trust and Open Communication. Two of the most important qualities to ANY relationship really. It’s very different being so far away from one another. That’s why trust and open communication is so key. Be honest with each other. If something is upsetting you, talk about it and come to a solution together. But, trust in the love that you share and know that it is okay to be apart and have “me” time. As long as you’re being respectful to your partner.

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I’m confident that it will get easier. And, we’ll be a stronger couple because of it all. I’m only about a month into this, so I’m sure there are other strategies to learn in the months and years to come. We really do appreciate all the love and support that we’ve received from family and friends. It’s nice to have a good support system standing behind you!

the good, the bad, the ugly

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty stand up, honest person. If I’m feeling a certain way because of something someone did, I’m going to let them know. I don’t think I have always been this way necessarily, but as I’ve grown up I’ve come to realize that things won’t change until you let people know what you want changed.

When it comes to relationships with others, I strongly believe that you should be open and honest about anything. Whether it’s telling your friend that the shirt she is wearing isn’t the most flattering, telling your significant other how something they did made you feel (good or bad), or talking about an issue that arose based on someone else’s actions (or lack there of). I’m not saying that being rude or blunt is the solution. I just think, that if you are truly upset because of something that happened, you need to determine what that relationship means to you. If it’s an insignificant bond that you don’t overly care about, then it’s probably just best to leave the issue and focus on other relationships in your life that make you happy. However, if it’s someone you deeply care for, then an expression of how you feel needs to be shared, regardless of how difficult it is. That’s the only way you can hope for a positive change with him or her.

I know what you’re thinking…easier said than done! Everyone knows that the truth isn’t usually what a person wants to hear. Reality check: It’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies! Many of us dread telling people how we really feel. But the way I look at it is, if the person you are addressing is a true friend or a dedicated partner they are going to respect you. Yes, they may feel a little attacked at first (I think it’s only natural). But, once they’ve had time to decompress and think about it, they’re going to listen to you and try to solve the issue together because they care for you just as much as you care for them.

If they don’t do any of the things above, well then…maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and reflect. Is that the type of person you want in your life? Do they value the relationship as much as you do? Do they care how you feel? Will they stick around through the good, the bad, the ugly?

It’s difficult to face the reality of these questions because we don’t want to accept the truth behind them (probably ’cause we know the truth ain’t rainbows or butterflies!) But maybe this truth will set us free. Maybe knowing the answers will allow us to make a tough, but necessary decision about the status of the relationship. You get to decide.

I know for me personally, I’d rather have a few truthful relationships, than many disloyal relationships. What about you?

jlennon

cry me a river

Yes, break ups suck. Whether it’s someone you’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship with or someone you’ve dated casually for only a couple months, they’re never an easy thing to deal with. No one likes being hurt (I mean, unless you’re into that kind of thing….). So yeah, break ups tend to make us all a little uneasy.

With this being said, I think how you handle a break up says A LOT about your character. Based on my own experiences and those that I’ve heard of from friends and/or family, I believe that there are two types of “break up personalities.”

1. There are the people who are naturally very upset and hurt over the break up, but handle the situation maturely and try to move on (without slandering their ex’s name),

AND THEN…

2. There are the people who obnoxiously stroke their own ego by rudely and aggressively shit-talking their ex (AKA. the ‘bitter breakup betty’s!’)

If you’re a “number two” break up person (no pun-intended), then I strongly suggest you reevaluate your life choices. It’s one thing to be hurt and not agree with how things were handled in the relationship. But it’s another to speak ill words about intimate relations you had with that person (someone you cared about at one time). Hate to break it to you friend, but you are NO where near being perfect, which is probably the reason why your ex didn’t want to stay with you in the first place. So instead of being immature and bitter, try being a big boy/girl and take the break up graciously. Because, at no point in time, is it EVER appropriate to be judging your ex or slandering his/her name to others. Figure it out.

So what do you do if you have a “number two” ex (LOL) on your hands? I understand sometimes it’s hard to hold your composure and usually your initial instinct is to rip their head off. BUT, before you make any sort of rash decisions, take a step back, think about the situation. Do you look like a total crazy? Nope. Do they they look like a total crazy? Yup! 100% without a doubt, they look like a bat-shit crazy person who time-traveled back to high school.

So essentially, you win. Don’t stoop to their level. Be cool. And remember, you’re not with them anymore (Thank God for that!)

the greatest revenge

Throughout our lives, it’s common to lose people who were once extremely important or close to us. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a best friend (or maybe someone you wanted out of your life for good) – the initial reaction is to be nasty! I think being mean is just a coping mechanism for some people to make everything easier. It helps us develop a sense of anger. And when you’re angry, it makes it easier for us to not miss that person. Sometimes you’d even go as far as to hurt them personally.

While being mean and hurtful are EASY (and maybe even enjoyable for some!) it’s only bringing yourself down. You’re still consuming yourself with that person. You’re keeping your emotions wrapped tightly around someone who you don’t really want or need in your life to begin with.

Instead of getting mad or being mean or trying to get even. Try being an adult. Remind yourself that you’re better than that. And, of course, find an even better form of revenge!!

So whats the best, sweetest, most gratifying revenge of all?!

Self-reformation / Self-improvement.

If you’re smarter, funnier, healthier, hotter and more confident than you were when you were friends with or dating that person, then you’re the ultimate winner! Improving your own quality of life is far better than bashing theirs.

So before you try and tear down someone else who was once really significant in your life. Take a step back for a minute. Think about how you can better yourself, rather than saying hateful things about them. No one likes a loser, and we all strive to be winners. So, take your pick.

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melt when you smile, dissolve when you laugh


Where do I even begin. I remember watching this video for the first time back in college – when I was just a simple 18 year old girl, who had a lot of growing up to do. A time where I also had no idea what the concept of ‘love’ really entailed. I think it’s still a learning process for me, as I’m sure it is for everyone else in this world. But now, watching this video back as a 24 year old woman, there’s a lot I’ve come to realize.

First… In a relationship, you make sacrifices and compromises for the one you care about (I’m not just talking about romantic relationships here, but also friend and family relationships). It’s so easy for people to just give up and not solve problems that they are encountered with in life. I’ve lost a fair amount of friends and boyfriends for similar reasons to this. At first it’s devastating and it hurts, a lot. Because after all, aren’t they the ones you thought cared for you the most? It’s a difficult situation to handle. But when this happens, I think it’s just proof (a sign, if you will) that this person didn’t belong in your life to begin with. They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe them choosing to leave your side is evidence that they were never really meant to be by your side in the first place. The ever so beautiful Marilyn Monroe once said, that “sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Second… I strongly believe in fighting for what you love. If you care for something or someone, you’re going to do everything in your power to hang onto that. No ifs, ands or buts. If someone isn’t willing to give and take a little then it just confirms that they aren’t willing to care to their fullest potential for you, which may mean it’s time to move on. This is really scary for people to comprehend sometimes (myself included).

This leads into the third (and most important) thing…don’t lose hope. There’s nothing more fragile and uncertain in life than love. One second, things can be so perfect and the next things fall apart. There are times when I lose hope and wonder if my other half even exists in this crazy place. But, I’ve come to realize how important it is to savour every moment in life. And when you have that person or thing you’ve dreamed of for so long, don’t take it for granted.

At the end of the day, we all want to experience that, “overwhelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional, all-encompassing, heart enriching, mind-expanding, ongoing, never-ending love” for someone. All it takes is a little hope and patience.

Hopefully this video helped you all have a little more faith…

the little things

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Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote by Robert Brault. I’m sure most of you have read it or seen it (perhaps on Pinterest?). I don’t think enough people in this world really appreciate the little things in life. We’re so stuck on the negatives (myself included) that we forget to be grateful for the people, places and things around us. Cause, let’s face it..when it comes down to it. It’s the little things that truly make us the happiest!

So for today…I’m putting aside all of my negativity and taking a few minutes to reflect on ‘the little things’ that really put a smile my face.

– Being kissed on the forehead
– Hearing my favourite song on the way to work
– Giving someone the perfect gift
– When babies laugh
– Receiving unexpected flowers
– When my friends make just as much of an effort to see me as I do them
– A spontaneous girl’s night out
– A smile from a stranger
– When the leaves change colour
– Courtesy wave while driving
– Hand written notes / cards
– Breakfast in bed
– Laughing so hard, you cry (or pee) with your best friend
– Kissing in the rain
– The sand between your toes (hurry up summer!)
– Seeing little kids play

Maybe it’s time we all take a few minutes from our hectic schedules and think of some ways we can show our loved ones how much we really care (whether it be your BFF, family or significant other).

Here’s some helpful tips for those of you who might be struggling with this one….
Guys, screw taking your girlfriend out for a fancy 5 course meal that will cost a fortune and instead, make her breakfast in bed or write her a cute hand written note for when she gets home from work.

Girls, make the effort to see your best friend after he/she has had a really rough day or find the most perfect birthday card to give to them.

Everyone, give your Mum/Dad or Brother/Sister a BIG hug when you see them next.

Cause sometimes…those little things in life occupy the biggest part in our hearts!

xo.