version 2.0

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For those of you that follow my blog on the regular, you know that I’ve already written a piece about all the “things that really irk me” (Here is the link for those who haven’t read it: things that really irk me). Well, turns out….I didn’t exactly include EVERY thing in that post because within the last few weeks I’ve discovered a whole new set of pet peeves that irritate the crap out of me that I just need to get off my chest and share with you.

Warning: This whole blog post is going to be a huge humble jumble of bitterness from yours truly. So enjoy! (OH and sorry in advance if you do ANY of these things – for both of our sakes)

Here’s my (second) list:

1. When girls wear high heels to sporting events. Oh, I’m sorry…did I miss the memo that the Roger’s Centre has turned into a dance club and dress attire is now required? Give your head a shake women. Your boyfriend or significant other is most definitely NOT paying attention to the sexy shoes you have on your feet, but rather the huge man crush they have on Brett Lawrie or Joffrey Lupul. Go home and change into flats, girl.

2. Guys that wear white sunglasses. Hate to break it to you kid, but if you’re wearing white sunglasses you’re the ultimate douche. Pauly D is calling, he wants you to go back to Jersey Shore where you belong. (Also, the fact that there’s a whole Facebook group dedicated to the “White Douche Bag Sunglasses faux pas” is hilarious to me)

3. When people don’t introduce you to others. No big deal, I’ll just stand here listening to your 30 minute conversation with your long-lost friend that you just ran into. LIKE…HI, this is AWKWARD! I’m sorry (not really), but if you don’t make any attempt to introduce me to someone you’re talking to, then you’re just plain rude and clearly have some growing up to do.

4. When people call me Alex. Yes people, my given name is Alexandra. But don’t automatically assume that my nickname is Alex. Because, it’s not! My dad was a gem who decided he liked calling me Ali and it stuck. If you accidentally call me Alex, it’s not a huge deal (I’ll let it slide), but if you call me Alex and I correct you by saying “Oh..it’s actually Ali” that doesn’t give you the right to keep calling me Alex. I will one punch you.

5. Girls who obnoxiously display their humongous boobs. Maybe it’s a jealousy thing cause I have smaller boobs, but I really don’t think so. I don’t know if you know this girls, but your boobs go inside your shirt! (I know right? It’s a tough concept to grasp). Everyone can tell you have huge cans. You don’t need to have them pouring out of your top. 2 words: attention whores.

6. Guys that come across too aggressive and want to dirty text right away. This is my ultimate number one turn off. Yep…I have a vagina, and you have a penis, and it’s a natural thing to have (protected) sexual relations with one another. But you don’t need to ask me for dirty pictures or talk dirty to me within 5 seconds of texting. In case you didn’t know, I’m actually an intelligent girl and enjoy having meaningful conversations beyond just “Oh yeah baby, I’m so horny” …UGH GROSS! Stop!

7. Telemarketers/Spam Phone Calls. “Congratulations! This is your cruise ship captain talking. You’ve won a trip for two on our marvelous cruise ship…” LOL JK NO YOU DIDN’T. These phone calls are beyond annoying. I’m not sure what’s worse though…these automated phone calls that you can just hang up on. ORRRRR..the live person who takes a whole 3.5 seconds to respond to your initial “hello” and then immediately tries selling you something (even after you say you’re not interested and would like to be removed from their list). I can’t even imagine the rude comments that are said to these people. Sometimes I feel a little bad for them!

8. Timberland Shoes. Note: This does not apply to every single pair of timberland shoes out there, because there’s actually some stylish/nice pairs that some dudes could probably pull off. But in this particular case, I’m talking about the yellowish gangster ones. Just no! Your “timbo’s” are not attractive. Sorry bud.

9. When larger people (guys and girls) don’t dress appropriately for their body type. There is nothing wrong with being a bigger girl or guy! But… (1) if your ass is eating your shorts, (2) your dress is WAY too short and we can see all of your cellulite, or (3) your pants are too tight that love handles are forming, then something is seriously wrong. I’m not by any means a size 0 or 2. If anything I buy a size bigger so the clothing fits me appropriately and isn’t skin tight. I’m a huge advocate for dressing appropriately for your body type, which means…buying the right size, the right length and the right width of clothes!

10. Individuals who can’t do anything without their boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes…we know, you’re madly in love and want to jump up your lovers ass. But PLEASE for the sake of everyone around you…have your own space and time where you can enjoy a fun girls or guys night every now and then. And don’t even get me started on people who bail constantly on their friends to hang out with their BF/GF! Have fun being friends-less when you two break up. (#foreveralone)

So now that I’ve reached a whole new level of ‘Bitter Betty’ ..I’ll just call it quits for today. Hope all of you enjoyed my little rant on the ever-so-lovely society we live in! Feel free to add to my forever growing list of things that really irk me!

Peace out fools! xo.

sorry for partying

Alright people, it’s official. I’m getting old…

Apparently my body can’t handle drinking obscene amounts of liquor and going to bed in the wee hours of the morning anymore. There was a time where I could drink 4 or 5 nights in a row and still make my way to class Monday morning. However…after the weekend I had, I’m pretty sure my glory days are near over. After celebrating one of my good friends birthday this weekend it’s quite evident that my body loathes my entire existence. Not only are my legs all bruised up (how it happened, I’m not sure) but I’m going into day 2 of a hangover! Something I didn’t even think was possible..

Partying hard Saturday night made me realize a few things… There were some tell tale signs that should have made it quite clear to me that I’m no longer in College/University…

5 signs that I’m too old to be “party rocking” every weekend:

1. It took me more than 5 tries to climb on the bar top, just so I could dance with my girl friends (Classy, right?)
2. I can no longer stomach more than 2 shots of jägermeister at the bar.
3. Sleeping in a double sized bed with 3 other people leaves me with muscle aches and hip pains.
4. I have no recollection of how I got home after the bar (SO SAFE!) and,
5. Going to bed at 6am has thrown off my entire sleep pattern, making work a miserable hellhole today.

Sooo..with that being said, let’s hope I learn a little something from this weekend and pump the brakes when it comes to partying. Sorry mum & dad!

xo

 

you “drive” me crazy

After a long commute to and from Toronto today, it has been brought to my attention that there are some serious bad drivers out there! It seems that everywhere I travel to lately, I’m constantly sharing the road with idiotic people who have zero idea how to drive properly! So only naturally…I decided I would blog about all the things that irritate me while I’m driving (I’m not pointing any fingers, but if you do any of the things I’m about to discuss, you suck! haha)

1. People who don’t move up in the right lane to let the car behind them turn.
Oh cool, you have several feet of open space in front of your car and you’re going to make me sit through this entire red light because you’re too lazy to move up a tiny bit to let me through. Yeah..no prob! (If you didn’t insert the sarcastic tone when reading that statement, please go back and re-read). This is definitely the number one thing that annoys me about people. They don’t pay attention to the cars around them and definitely don’t check their mirrors frequently enough to know when to move up.

2. When the advanced green light comes on and the car ahead of you doesn’t turn immediately, causing you to miss the light.
UGH! Quit day dreaming and/or texting your friend! Nothing is worse than having to wait for the person ahead of you to get their act together when you’re raring to go. I have places to be and people to see…I don’t need you dilly dallying through the advanced green. If you do this, I will honk at you!

3. People who think bicycles are 10 feet wide.
There is no need for drivers to veer into oncoming traffic or drive slowly behind the cyclist the entire way home. Especially if there is a bike lane. Helloooo! A cyclist is the same width as a person walking. Staying in your own lane or slightly moving over if the bike lane is narrow is plenty of space for the cyclist to ride safely. Common sense people!

4. People who pass you on the highway for no purpose.
Great, you’re ahead of me by 2.3 seconds. Do you feel better about yourself now? I don’t understand why you’re hurrying up, just to wait behind a huge line of other cars? It makes no sense to me why people pass others if there is absolutely no purpose. You’re only making the roads dangerous and being an ass. Simple as that.

5. People who sit right in your blind spot.
If you’re a good driver and went to your driver’s education course…You know exactly where the ‘blind spots’ are around a vehicle. It’s not cool to just coast along side of me where I can’t see you. You deserve to be side swiped if you do this!

6. Sunday Drivers.
Example: It’s a Friday afternoon. Why are you going 5 or 10 under the speed limit? Don’t you know that everyone on the planet is excited to be starting their weekend? Slow drivers actually cause more accidents than those who are careless and speed. Fun fact. If you want to drive slowly, take it to a parking lot people! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

7. When people leave their signal light on after making a lane change.
I realize this is something so trivial, but it really bothers me. You’re only causing confusion for the drivers around you. Plus, I don’t understand how people don’t realize their blinker is still on. Can’t you hear the annoying clicking?!

8. People that pull into the middle turning lane last minute.
Um hi, the butt of your car is sticking out into my lane…making it a little difficult to get by you. Maybe if you thought about where you were going ahead of time, you could have pulled into the turning lane earlier and we wouldn’t be stuck in this situation (Literally).

Yes…I understand, some of you may accidentally commit one or two of these “driving crimes” throughout your lifetime. It happens to the best of us. But if you’re constantly doing these things, it’s quite clear that you should start taking public transit! #sorrynotsorry

What are your biggest driving pet peeves?

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Paddy, not Patty

With St. Patrick’s Day fast approaching (aka tomorrow), I thought it would be a good idea to reflect (and rant) about it. St. Patrick’s is a day for college students to get decked out in green attire, celebrate being “Irish” and drink obnoxiously at the wee hours of the morning!  I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a sucker for dressing up. However, I haven’t really had the best track record with St. Patrick’s Day. It usually ends up being a disaster!

With that being said, this is officially the first year I’m not celebrating, because, well, I couldn’t book any time off and I got stuck working. But don’t worry, I’m actually kind of okay with it. This is definitely the first sign of growing up (Not sure how I feel about that yet, I’ll get back to you).

BUT ANYWAY….There are many of you out there who refer to this lucky day as “St. Patty’s” when in actual fact, Patty is the girls nickname for Patricia and therefore incorrect! The short form for Patrick is Paddy (for those of you who didn’t know)…I came across this website, which is just a HUGE rant on idiots who call it St. Patty’s Day. I found it quite humourous and I think more people should educate themselves about the proper short-form for the day we all love to celebrate so much! I’ll let you check it out for yourselves… http://paddynotpatty.com/

So remember folks, when you’re doing your keg stand, or chugging your green beer from the pitcher….It’s St. Paddy’s Day NOT St. Patty! Keep calm and shamrock on people!

xo.

movie theatre etiquette

Apparently there are some people in this world that need a little refresher as to what proper movie theatre etiquette entails. There is nothing worse than going to the movies with your friends, only to be stuck behind or in front of the “worlds worst movie go-ers.” Such a buzz kill.

So naturally, being the perfect individual that I am (HA!) …I’m going to tell you “what not to do” at a movie theatre! Feel free to take notes if you wish.

First of all, DON’T sit right in front of me if there are clearly a MILLION vacant seats in the theatre. Especially if I have my feet up!! Have some common courtesy to at least move to the right or left a couple seats so I can keep them resting on the seat ahead of me (Shout out goes to the dude who told his girlfriend to move down a couple seats so I could keep my feet up. You my friend, are a gem!) 

DON’T go to the movies with your BFF and talk the entire time. I know you’re really excited about Jimmy FINALLY asking you to winter formal…But take it somewhere else people. You’re annoying and everyone in the theatre probably wants to punch you.

Please DON’T come to see a movie if you plan on being ALL over your significant other. Cool, the arm rests lift up and you’re able to snuggle in real close to your guy. But please, refrain from shoving your tongue down his throat. If you wanna make a baby, go home! No one needs to see that.

DON’T check your text messages or e-mails throughout the movie! Surprisingly, the bright light from your phone is not the most enjoyable thing (I know, shocker right?). I will fully admit that I’m an “iPhone-aholic” but even I can put my phone away for 2 hours and enjoy a movie.

DON’T chomp on your snacks. There are children in Africa who are starving to death and even they wouldn’t eat the way you vultures do! We don’t need to hear how much you’re enjoying your popcorn.

DON’T sit in the middle of a row, if you know you’re someone has to go to the bathroom a lot. There are end seats for a reason, so use them!

And lastly, DON’T kick the back of my chair. I understand it happens once in a while by accident. But if I physically feel as if I’m sitting in a massage chair (not the good kind) then something is clearly wrong. Keep your hands and feet inside your designated sitting area at all times! Thank you.

Follow all of these basic movie theatre rules, and you too will be able to enjoy your featured film.

Take care, comb your hair!

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“a colour for every personality”

As I sit here trying to complete a lesson plan for one of my courses, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to start a career in naming nail polish. I know I’m not the only girl out there who has thought this! REPRESENT!

How unreal would it be to add “Professional Nail Polish Namer” to your resumé?! I’m curious to know how someone would even inquire about a job like this..I’m obsessed. And the sad part is, I think I actually get more satisfaction from seeing what the nail polish is named, than actually painting my nails (Weird, right?)

BUT SERIOUSLY NOW, how the hell do they not duplicate any names? Cause let’s be real peeps, there are MILLIONS of nail polishes in this world. Anyways, I just thought I’d share with you some of the names and colours that I love!

My top favourite are:

Topless and Barefoot (Essie)
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– Bikini So Teeny (Essie)

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– Mermaid’s Tears (O.P.I)
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– Quarter of a Cent-Cherry (O.P.I)
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What are YOUR favourite nail polish names and colours?!

xo.

things that really irk me

Call it a pet peeve. Call it an annoyance. Call it whatever you want! But there are some things in life that really irritate me. I’ll be the first one to admit that some of them might seem extremely stupid to you, however, to me they have the ability to make my day go from good to bad in a matter of seconds.

Here is my list:

1. Step Garbage Cans. I get it, the whole purpose of them is to keep things sanitary. However, 9 out of 10 times they’re more inconvenient than anything. You either step on the pedal too hard and the lid slams against the wall behind it, causing you to take your foot off in shock. OR…you don’t step on the pedal hard enough so you just end up using your hands to open the lid (defeating the whole purpose). All I know is….I’m never having one of these garbage cans in my house!

2. When people clap at the end of a movie. Okay cool, the movie was amazing and you think the acting was out of this world. But, really? You’re going to sit there and clap for people who can’t even hear or appreciate your round of applause. You just look silly and with that being said, I am embarrassed for you!

3. Two Door cars. No one EVER wants to drive with the person who has a two-door car (especially if it’s more than 2 people driving in it). Having to get in and out of the back seat is quite possibly the most awkward procedure. You have to push the seat forward, lift up the seatbelt so you don’t decapitate yourself, pull the seat back and don’t even get me started on the lack of leg space! (And majority of the time whoever is sitting in the front forgets about you and doesn’t let you out LOL). I also think its ridiculous how gigantic the car doors are. You’re shit outta luck on a windy day!

4. People who paint their garage doors outrageous colours. Maybe I’m just traditional. But what made you think it was a genius idea to paint your garage doors bright yellow, sea foam green or fuchsia? It looks horrendous. Stick to the neutrals next time (black, taupe, grey, beige etc.)…Leave the bright colours for the flowers in your garden!

 5. Misuse of “Seen” and “Saw.” No my friend…you did not “seen” that episode of Friends last night. You saw it! As in past tense, as in it already happened. UGH! It takes everything in my power not to call people out when they make this irritating mistake. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who agrees. AM I RIGHT?!

6.  Taylor Swift chirps. Yes, she dates many guys! And yes, once they break up she will probably (most likely) write a song about it. It’s old news. The jokes and chirps aren’t even worth a chuckle anymore. So I suggest you stop trying to be funny and move onto bigger and better things (like a career lol).

7. When people bail on plans. I understand things come up occasionally and you have to bail last minute. But if “something” comes up EVERY single time you make plans and you bail, that’s a sure way to lose friends. If you’re unsure about whether or not you want to get together with someone, then don’t agree to it immediately and certainly don’t say things like, “I’m SOOO excited to get together” (Meanwhile, you have no intention of following through with the plans).

8. Guys that wear the wrong shoes with the wrong outfit. Don’t you dare put on running shoes with jeans and a polo shirt! Unless you’re going to the gym or going for a hike – don’t wear runners please. I also don’t want to see you rockin’ your steel-toe boots, unless you’re at work. Wearing shoes outside of their given purpose really bothers me. Get it together, boys!

9. Nicholas Cage movies. From his hairstyle and his voice to his inability to be a good action star. Everything about Nicholas Cage aggravates me.

10. When girls wear a regular bra with a strapless shirt. This is a major fashion faux pas! The shirt is strapless for a reason. Regardless if you’re the prettiest girl on the planet, doing this instantly makes you look like trailer park trash! And let’s be real; don’t think we can’t see your “plastic/clear” bra straps that we all had back in Grade 7. Invest in a strapless bra ladies!

WELL….I guess I’ll stop here before all of you think I’m the most pessimistic person on the planet! I’m sure within the next week or so, I’ll think of a million more things to add to my list.  Also, shout out goes to Jen and Sandra who had to listen to me bitch and complain about these things after a night of partying (Hangovers bring out the worst in me!)  

So what the things that really “irk” you?!

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