Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy the holiday season. Christmas is by far one of my favourite holidays. However, all of the hype about the pretty white snow and putting up the Christmas decorations wears off pretty quickly. Because eventually, we’re all just faced with the bitter cold weather and a bunch of muddy slush.
So, here are my top 10 reasons why I hate winter:
1. When girls wear those hideous furry boots. I don’t care how warm and amazing they make your feet feel. You look like you’re trying to marry the abominable snowman….and not even he would approve! There are much better ways to spend $200 – these boots are not one of them!
2. Having to scrape the ice and snow off of your car windshield every morning. You’re running late for work. You hit snooze on your alarm three times too many this morning and now you’re running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Trying to find a reasonable outfit for work and scoffing down a piece of toast. You finally finish, put your coat on and rush outside to your car….Only to find 10-15 cm of snow covering your entire car. COOOOL (no pun intended), now you have to run around like a mad women for the next 15 minutes trying to brush off all the snow, scraping off the layer of ice underneath, and heat up your freezing car. Goodbye, coffee stop at Starbucks. Hello, Grinch.
3. You start looking like one of the Cullen siblings (next level pale). Some of you crazy twihard fans may actually like this one. But for me personally, this is hands down one of the worst things about winter. The sun barely comes out, and it’s dark before 5pm. Everyone instantly looks uglier when they’re pale and it’s not like you can make multiple trips to the tanning bed during the winter months because while everyone’s channeling their inner Cullen, you’ll just look like you belong on MTV’s True Life: I’m addicted to tanning. Not really sure what’s worse..
4. Upkeep gets much more intense. Chapped lips, brittle nails, dry skin, and staticky hair. Every girl feels my pain here. It’s not a good look. Maintaining a soft and subtle glow in the winter season takes some serious work. It can become exhausting.
5. When adults wear those animal HITTS (hat/mittens combined). You’re a 30 year old women…There is no way you should be wearing an animal hat with paw mittens attached. If you are wearing these out in public, there is a 99.9% chance you are a crazy cat lady, and will forever be alone. Get it together people! Donate your HITTS to children, I repeat, CHILDREN who need them!
6. Immediately sweating the instant you get indoors. I live in Canada, so yes, as most of you can assume, it gets to be extremely cold during the winter. So usually I’ll wear multiple layers to stay warm, along with my down winter coat, a scarf and sometimes a hat. Walking from the car into work, is probably the most freezing trip ever, but why is it that as soon as I enter the front doors, I immediately start sweating profusely? LIKE HI, I was shivering just a few seconds ago, why do I feel like a menopausal women experiencing her first heat flash?! Ugh.
7. Girls who insist on wearing cheap, collapsed UGG boots. Clearly these boots are not offering you the support you need. And you have officially made the transition from fashionable winter glam, to homeless girl looking for money. I don’t understand how these are even comfortable!! All I know, is that it’s time to retire the cheap, leanin’ boot and buy a nicer (maybe pricier?) pair that won’t collapse on you, making you look like frosty the fool.
8. Having to pay for coat check at the bar. 9 out of 10 times, in the winter, I’ll refuse going to the bar. I mean I already look pale, have scaly skin and it’s freezing outside. On top of all that, I have to pay $10 to check my coat?! UH no thanks. I’ll wait until the summer comes, so I can skip the winter jacket and just wear shorts and a tank. Call me cheap, but I know you’re all thinking it too! That’s a glass of wine I could be enjoying..
9. Wet socks. I don’t even really think this one needs an explanation. I’m sure at some point we have all endured a long day in gross, wet socks. The most uncomfortable feeling EVER. Not about it.
10. Holiday foods, comfy clothes and comfort movies = weight gain! In the winter, we all go into hibernation mode. We lose our motivation to go to the gym. We all start attending holiday functions where lots of yummy and delicious treats are shared and left over. It’s always easier to throw on a pair of lulu’s and a big sweatshirt when you get home. Personally, I like to indulge and watch Home Alone or Love Actually over and over. Then as soon as winter’s over, we go into panic mode…WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI IN 3 MONTHS?! Winter likes to bitch slap us in the face sometimes.
I think I need a permanent vacation this winter.